What could be better?

Being a mom means I have three littles watching everything I say and do–at every moment.  I know they hear my words and they see my actions but after this weekend I realized they are being shaped by what I value.

What I value shapes how I spend my time, how I spend my money, how I treat others, how I basically live my life.

I don’t think it ever truly hit me until this weekend that it doesn’t really matter that my husband is a pastor and that we are in ministry and that it sort of checks off that little box of – Living for God!

My heart is starting to be nudged that there has to be more, there has to be something more that God is moving us to do in this life.  Should my values be shaping my life in such a way that my life looks radically different than the standard?  Now while I have no plans to live without electricity or start sewing all of our clothes or sell all of our belongings.  I wonder if the cluttered life I live. physically, emotionally and spiritually, needs to be simplified to even be able to see the greatness of God.

The lists and the activities and the commitments and the stuff don’t even allow me the space to think about what God really desires me to do in this life.  What is He calling my husband and I to do, what is He calling me to do?  I can’t see the people hurting around me  because I am so busy driving to the next pick up, always fifteen minutes behind my “schedule”.

What if I just stopped more?

What if my pace was guiltless?

What if I didn’t have a continual checklist going around my mind?

Shelly Giglio was part of the IF:gathering and said one of the most profound concepts.  She reminded us that we need to be building our nests at the altar of God.  She was urging us to be in God’s presence while we are doing ALL things for Him.

So many times I think the things I am doing as I serve God, are not done while I am in His presence.  In fact, sometimes I think that my time spent building counts as being in His presence, when yet I actually haven’t spent any time with Him lately.

I want true communion with God.

I want everything else I do to flow from that place of being with God.

I want this short amount of time in my life to be filled with what He values.

I so desperately want His values to become my VALUES.

I want Jesus to be better than everything.


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