Courage

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Courage to share your whole heart- be who you really are.

Courage isn’t something that comes naturally to me, actually not at all.  Growing up I was not someone who acted like – who I really was.  I was constantly trying to morph into who I thought people would want me to be.  I think deep in my heart I knew who I was but struggled with the confidence to be that person.  I watched this ruin some long years of my life when I was a teenager.

I often wonder if I could go back and just be myself, how differently situations would have panned out.  I remember getting to college and I finally could act like myself thinking I had overcome my confidence issue.  It probably helped that I was around more people who were like me, and had the same values as me.  But sometimes our struggles have a way of hiding for a season, and creep up on us when we least expect it.

After having kids, when I thought my self confidence would be stable, I quickly discovered it began to crumble again.  I was easily persuaded by people with how they choose to raise their kids or even how they dressed, or how they lived.  Consistently feeling that if I changed one more thing about myself or the way I lived, then finally I would feel complete.  Like the thing I had searched for all of my life – suddenly would be found.256272e24a8be61d0fdec20843f3c872

Over the years, the lack of self confidence literally bled itself throughout my life.  Ever since I can remember I always felt like my brain was constantly thinking about new ideas, always desiring to be creative in some format or another.  Creativity though requires courage – and for years that was just something I didn’t allow myself.  Without even knowing it I had become chained by my own fears, held back by my lack of courage.  Things I would think of doing, would instantly be shot down by myself.   In the back of my head was the haunting thought, “what would people think?”

 

Wouldn’t it be great if I could say, I never think that anymore., but I do.  That I don’t really care what people think, that I don’t let it consume me.  It usually creeps up right before my best work comes out.  Right before I allow myself permission to just be me.

4fcea79892142cc1f76510d0a765acc2It is then I am forced to look at myself & truly accept the flaws and the cracks and remember that God loves this broken vessel that I am.  He is the glue that holds all these pieces together.  He is the reason that I have confidence.  He is greater than my fear, and He is the gentle push that reminds me that He created me to have freedom. Freedom to be who I am–at every second of every day.

 

 

 

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Comments

  1. laurie walle says:

    Paint it!

  2. I love you just the way you are!

  3. Thank you for sharing you heart, Tiffany! The part of your post where you talked about struggles hiding away for awhile and creeping back up when you least expect it, is so true.

    Be yourself! God has created you to be uniquely you.

    Blessings!

  4. It makes sense that self-doubt creeps up “just before your best work comes out.” It’s even better that you recognize this is the case so that you can equip yourself to deal with it. Thank you for sharing a bit of your inner struggle and for encouraging us to be courageous with you. I pray God blesses you as you continuing taking leaps of faith into His grace. Blessings. :)

  5. I’ve been thinking a lot lately on the fact that so many women struggle with a lack of confidence…your post is timely! So, here’s my question: What helps you be free to have courage in who you’re made to be?

  6. I love that you shared this! It’s so raw and beautiful. And I adore your site design!:)

  7. This is precisely right! It’s hard though, to embrace who we really are, but it’s only after we do that that we find true joy, happiness and freedom. It took me moving to Atlanta, and being surrounded by so many options, that I finally started to discover who I am and what I love. I’ve tried a billion new things and found some I click with and some I don’t but it’s been an important time of self-discovery.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Courage – The Lovely Mosaic Do you ever read a blog post and at the end of each chapter, your want to jump up and scream “YES”!  Hands up, right, here, this is one of those.  It takes courage to be yourself & I ADORE the quote that Tiffany closes with.  Just YES! […]

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